Archive for October, 2006

The Wire

Posted in General on October 26, 2006 by Steve

Good God, it’s maybe the best TV show I’ve ever seen.
Totally addicted.
Got the first series on DVD.
Will be looking for the second one soon, too.


Rachel Mary Grant

Posted in General on October 25, 2006 by Steve

Born today. Very beautiful.
Congratulations to Facts (for it is he!).
And Mrs Facts (for it is she!), I suppose.
She did play the major part, I assume…
Almost eleven pounds and 53cm long.

Classic Stories (from the archives)

Posted in General on October 23, 2006 by Steve

Back in the days before The Legend owned the flat, it was owned by his brother Facts (for it is he!). He rented a room out to Ulster’s secret shame, the Chubby Chaser. Both, rather worryingly, are to this day psychiatric nurses. As a result, they rarely saw each other, due to shift patterns and Chubby Chaser working in Edinburgh. On the weeknight in question, Facts (for it is he!) had come back from a late shift and collapsed into bed around 10pm. Chubby Chaser, at the time, was in the middle of a marathon drinking session that, unusually for him, did not end with a fat girl being turfed out of the flat at 3am. Never fear, dear reader, for Chubby Chaser had been to the 24 hour garage for some additions to his collection of, errr… art pamphlets (batchelor’s periodicals, if you will).

As an aside, I was once witness to Chubby Chaser being so drunk, that he bought two copies of the same jazz mag at the garage, along with a toy bear (because he missed his absent girlfriend, awwww…). I then gave him a piggy-back home, all the while singing the Hollies classic “He Ain’t Heavy (He’s My Brother)“. On a Tuesday night, but I digress.

Back to the story. The new purchase was failing to sufficiently arouse our drunken hero, so he decided to bring his entire (and significant) collection through to the living room, so as best to ahem, spread out the images within. The entire living room was covered, two or three magazines deep in some cases. Whether or not the operation came to a successful climax is still uncertain as Chubby Chaser left for work early the next day and presumably disposed of any kleenex / kitchen roll / sock in the appropriate manner.

An indeterminate amount of time later in the day, Facts (for it is he!) was woken by a knock at the door. It was the engineer, sent to install the satellite dish. Facts (for it is he!) let the engineer in, unaware of the pornographic carnage in the living room, given that he was just out of bed. Needless to say, the engineer burst into laughter at the sight of the clitrature spread across the room and the ample nature of the images in question (Chubby Chaser is not known by that name without good reason). He even managed to make a witty comment about what channels Facts (for it is he!) may have wished to subscribe to with his new dish. Anyone who has seen Facts (for it is he!) flustered will be well placed to picture him as he made his (justified) denial of;

“Honestly, this isn’t mine!”

Saturday Night…

Posted in General on October 23, 2006 by Steve

…sorry. Sworn to secrecy.
By The Legend.
‘Nuff said.

When you were a kid…

Posted in General on October 20, 2006 by Steve

…did you ever use a pink felt pen to draw nipples onto Barbie or Action Man?
Or make your Star Wars figures kiss?

Err… me neither.

A Sign of the Coming Apocalypse

Posted in General on October 19, 2006 by Steve

I watched The Last Samurai last night on the telly.
And enjoyed it.
I enjoyed a film with Tom Cruise in it.
Bear in mind, I thought A Few Good Men was meant to be a comedy.
The end is nigh.
In my defence, it was good despite him, rather than because of him.
I had also been on the wiiinnneee…

MySpace is taking over my life…

Posted in General on October 18, 2006 by Steve

…and I don’t want it to.
I end up doing surveys and quizzes, instead of working.
Even though they’re rubbish.

Beats working, I suppose. Here’s the link;