Archive for February, 2007

I’m ill…

Posted in General on February 28, 2007 by Steve

…just thought you should know.

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Is Christopher Hitchens the Antichrist?

Posted in General on February 26, 2007 by Steve

The question needs to be asked. He was debating Billy Bragg on some (surprisingly good, for ITV) Sunday lunchtime show.

It’s always been too easy to dsmiss him as a Neo-Con mouthpiece but; in between the slick technique, dirty tricks and arrogance, I got the sense he actually was sincere in his beliefs.

There was a great scene in The West Wing when Josh confronts his gay Congressman friend and asks him out loud how he could be a Republican and associate with those that hate him so much.

It looked like Bragg was having the same thoughts, in between supressing the urge to lamp him (Bragg loses the ragg!!!).

Never mind, Bill. You wrote “New England“.

Hitchens looks like a cross between Andrew LLoyd Webber and Baron Silas Greenback from “Dangermouse“.

Fight the Power!

I think my mother is mental

Posted in General on February 26, 2007 by Steve

The Legend took seven week old Piglet round to my mother’s the other day. She’d knitted the child a teddy bear and it seemed the polite thing to do. What followed was terrifying in a “Hand that Rocks the Cradle” sort of way. The child had to be forcibly removed from my mother’s arms after about an hour of the most disturbing baby talk anyone has ever heard.

Mother – you are getting NO grandchildren from me!!!

That is all.

My Colleagues

Posted in General on February 22, 2007 by Steve

Jesus, I need a new job. The banter is appalling in here.
This total cretin (a former manager, who thinks he’s a ladies man) has been put on our team.
He sits four feet away from me and I am going to have to torture him slowly.
He just described himself to the whole group as “Conan the Lovemaker“.
Seriously.
His wife lives in another continent. What can I say?
Needless to say, I replied;

You can’t spell Conan, without Onan“.

Blank fucking looks.
From everyone.
I’m wasted in here (and not in the good way).
Wankers.

Pathetic

Posted in General on February 22, 2007 by Steve

No blogs for over a week?
This is my eleventh of twelve consecutive work days.
Knackered.
I cut myself on a bit of tagliatelle.
Cooked tagliatelle.
That’s how pathetic I’ve been this week.

More about The Legend

Posted in General on February 12, 2007 by Steve

People often approach me in the street, or email me to ask more about The Legend and what he does.
As a result, I have decided to publish The Legend‘s record of employment.
The Legend, at various times, has been;

Shop assistant
Psychiatric nurse
Male model
NHS fertility treatment
Simon le Bon
Roadie
Diabetic
Slum landlord.

Obviously, the last entry is The Legend‘s cash cow and consistently brings the most (nudge, wink) unofficial income into The Legend‘s greedy, grasping little mitts. That said, the list is not exhaustive, as The Legend likes to have his fingers in as many pies (ahem…) as possible at all times.

The Chairman…

Posted in General on February 12, 2007 by Steve

…is having an identity crisis.
He is swithering about changing his name to Captain Justice.
But he is struggling to decide which monicker is best.
Updates as I get them.
His good lady is Batgirl.
This is due to her wearing a cape.