Archive for April, 2007

The End is Nigh

Posted in General on April 29, 2007 by Steve

Went to the stag do of The Legend‘s future brother-in law.
The fact I’m home early should tip you off to this one.
Everyone fucked off.
The bride came, to pick up the groom at 11pm.
The bride turned up to take the stag home early.

Take that sentence in.
Took Facts (for it is he!) with them.
You know, The Legend‘s brother.
So, The Legend and me were left, on our own, to continue the night.
Fucking hell, I’m definitely not going to the wedding.
Is nothing sacred?
Not like we were planning anything. Fucksake.

Can I just clear this up…

Posted in General on April 28, 2007 by Steve

…once and for all?
Prince Harry will go to Iraq, despite the heightened risks.
For the same reason his granny won’t abdicate for Chuck.
To avoid James Hewitt’s son getting anywhere near the throne.
Without ever admitting he’s Hewitt’s ginger love-child.
An heroic death / capture would also garner sympathy for the monarchy.
A win-win scenario for the Queen.
I thank you.

James gig in Newcastle

Posted in General on April 26, 2007 by Steve

Even better than the Carlisle one. Nuff said.

Random fact about The Legend

Posted in General on April 26, 2007 by Steve

The Legend is serious about watching pornography.
He’s like Garrison watching the Zapruder film.
Back and to the left, back and to the left…

Almost Serious

Posted in General on April 26, 2007 by Steve

With the upcoming Scottish elections, I’ve been struggling with who to vote for. I considered not voting, the Australian “none of the above” option is something that should be considered here. Sadly, Labour haven’t been a serious socialist option for a decade (I still feel unclean for voting them in in 2002). The SSP, after a promising start, have shown themselves to be a shower of shite; Colin Fox and Rosie Kane the most obvious examples. Despite everything, I still like Sheridan. Splitting up a political fringe group and then calling his clique “Solidarity” shows a particular lack of irony, though. If he’d had a sense of humour, he’d have called the splinter group “The People’s Front of Judea”.

The Tories? You obvously don’t know me if you ask that. Let’s move on.

The Lib-Dem’s have shown signs of principle, but their desperation in holding onto Scottish Labour’s coattails has been nauseating. The Nationalists? Can’t possibly have Sturgeon anywhere near power (Scottish phrase “a nippy sweetie” springs to mind) and Salmond, whilst possibly the only one who shows signs of life outside of politics, is a smug, fence-sitting opportunist. Might have pint with him, but just the one.

That leaves the Greens and, despite their terrible broadcast with the porridge guy nad the wee ginger ootay Taggart (byraway big man), are probably the best option. The environmental lobby, ridiculed for decades, has been proven correct on most of their issues. If you don’t believe that, check out the pathetic attempts by the other parties to pretend they give a shit about the environment. As the other parties all fall the Keynesian model (economic growth at all costs, argue about how the pie gets cut up), it’s hollow and insulting. The idea of locally-based initiatives lends itself to economic efficiency and social fairness as well.

So, I’m voting Green.

James gig in Carlisle

Posted in General on April 20, 2007 by Steve

My neck feels like it’s broken.
My throat is raw.
I pulled both hamstrings.
Back completely fucked.
Fucking amazing gig.
Newcastle on Monday for more of the same.

The Legend (again…)

Posted in General on April 20, 2007 by Steve

Another quality piece of sleep-deprived ranting from The Legend the other day.
Involved young people and how they were inarticulate cretins.
The Legend blames text messages, internet chatrooms and “Beebop“.
Whatever that is.
I assume The Legend means Bebo.