Doggy-Style

An Aberdonian mate of mine, Rob, phoned me last night.

His wife is a bit of a social climber (Rob works off-shore and, well, isn’t) and she made him get a chinuaua for her birthday. Why anyone would want a chinuaua is beyond him but, reluctantly, Rob bought her one.

Anything for a quiet life.

Anyway, she organised a dinner party (another thing Rob ain’t wild about) and invited all the neighbours and her work colleagues / bosses etc.

It was during the dinner party that the chinuaua decided to pull its party piece. Apparently, male chinuauas are prone to doing something to themselves that, frankly, every man would like to do if he could.

Me? Cannae reach, not with my back.

Needless to say, the mutt did this in the middle of the living room, in front of everyone. The wife went mental, but Rob was having nothing to do with it – she’s the animal lover, after all.

Mind, the animal was getting enough love from himself by that point.

The wife’s boss raised a laugh by interrupting;

“Let him finish, at least”.

Another wee trait of male chinuauas is that, once the deed has been done, they can’t get it out of their mouths. So, Rob’s wife had to pull it out of the wee mutt’s mouth – in front of everything. Whether this made a Lewinsky-style mess on the dress is unknown.

Moral of the story – don’t get a chinuaua, it may lead to divorce.

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