Archive for November, 2007

High Culture (and swearing)

Posted in General on November 29, 2007 by Steve

I am utterly fucking speechless at this news.

Just a ridiculous piece of casting, and the description of Iago in the article is simplistic, to say the least. Given that the likes of Olivier and McKellen have played my favourite Shakespearean character in the past (LO played Othello and Iago in 1964 and 1938 respectively), a fact acknowledged in the article, the word sacrilege is perfectly fair.

Is nothing sacred?

Needless to say, adding Obi Wank-Enobi to the cast has resulted in a sell-out run. Are the producers cynical? Yes. Do we deserve this, for ignoring high art and putting up with banality? Most probably. I could go on about this all night.

Coincidentally, McKellen (admittedly, pension plumped up by drivel like the X-Men and Lord of the Rings trilogies), is in King Lear just now. Maybe Ewan should go and see an actor on his night off? The talentless, ginger cunt.


Just for the Hell of it…

Posted in General on November 29, 2007 by Steve

Prince Philip newsreel from Mock the Week.

Tremendous pair of norks…

Frankie Boyle

Posted in General on November 29, 2007 by Steve

A good stand up (see the archives for my review of his Festival show) and possibly the best panelist currently on TV.  Also an underrated writer of stand up comedy for others and as a columnist.  Here’s the link to some of said columns.

Ian Bell

Posted in General on November 28, 2007 by Steve

Bell on New Labour (again).

RIP Sean Taylor

Posted in General on November 27, 2007 by Steve

Redskins Safety Sean Taylor, just starting to become a real force in the NFL, is dead.

24 years old.  Fuck.

Shot by a burglar, they reckon.

The Redskins, who cocked up their season on Sunday, are over for this year.

Stanhope and Death…

Posted in General on November 27, 2007 by Steve

…from Doug’s MySpace blog;

For the second time in six months, one of my Top Friends has died – long before they say it’s “your time.” Earlier this year, Brett Clawson, a good friend, a fine UnBookable and a marathon drunk died after valiantly leaping off an overpass to evade a cop in St Louis to avoid his fifth DUI.

I believe he was 32 years old.

Last night one of my oldest friends Ronnie P- the guy who brought me up for my first time ever on stage and has been around ever since – died suddenly of a brain aneurysm at 42.

Both were in my Top Friends when they passed prematurely.

Most people have to wait until their golden years to have so many friends dying. Perhaps it’s the company I keep.

So I will now give odds on the Top Friends I have remaining on Myspace and allow you to vote for your pick of the next one to croak.

I will also give some background and lay odds.

Metro Diner – Scratched

My brother’s restaurant may be in my Top Friends but everyone knows the chances of any eatery lasting through it’s first year. The Metro may have surpassed that mark but only because my brother is bleeding money into it just so he can get away from his house for a while. No action on this bet..

Bingo – 15-1

She’s only 31 and in decent health from the neck down. But with her recent return to the mental hospital and spiralling back into deep – if temporary – insanity, puts her at 15-1 based mostly on propensity for accidents. Twice I’ve awoke to the broiler and stove top burners blazing for no apparent reason, she can get completely incoherent and without co-ordination and attempt to do things which she’s incapable of (like walking) and her drastic memory loss could lead to repeatedly take medication which she has already taken – extremely dangerous with lithium, her staple med.

A good bet for those who love a long shot.

The Mattoid – 200-1

There seems to be no signs of self-destruction in this fellow but you can never tell with these Europeans. He can’t keep up with out drinking and tends to puke like a high school girl when he tries. His best chance at an early exit is a disgruntled audience member taking umbrage with his songs about Christianity or sucking cock and shooting him.

Dave Attell – 25-1

Some may think that Attell’s lifestyle of heavy drinking, smoking and occasional narcotics would land him better odds but the truth is that he’s a pro amongst pros and can handle his shit better than anyone who’s drank me under a table. Life-threatening social diseases don’t come into play as more often that not he’s too fucked up to get wood when about to make a bad decision. Still, the habits remain and that keeps him a popular bet.

Jim Norton – 500-1

Norton has some unorthodox sexual proclivities but none that would make you think his time here will be brief. He doesn’t drink, smoke or do drugs (and still is one of the best comics working) so besides catching a fatal does of drinking tinkle from an unsavory whore, I’d figure this kid will be around for a while.

Sean Rouse –  4-1

Rouse would be even money save for the recent birth of his first child. Childbirth would usually pull someone off the charts completely but the experts say that this guy could still go swirling down the shitter at the same pace he’d been keeping. Also bringing his odds down is the fact that he’s lazy and doesn’t work nearly as much as he could – and the road is where you’d find him cold in an alley.

The Libertarian Party – No Line

Like Buster Douglas and my borther’s restaurant, there could be a legendary upset but no bookie is gonna take the action. Fun to cheer for but no place for your money.

Brendon Walsh – 25-1

Walsh has had shown moments of being a death-pool phenom but there is no consistency in his play. His alcohol abuse is balanced by depression-induced sobriety. Should he find himself able to put these two together, he’d really be a guy to watch in any dead pool.

Tom Rhodes – 30-1

Rhodes doesn’t come across as a favorite but if you dismiss the rosey outlook on life, add the years of experience in self destruction  and take into account the fucked-up tour schedule that brings him from San Fran to Bangkok to South Africa, any number of things could put him in an early grave. A great pick for the “Only The Good Die Young” crowd.

Lynn Shawcroft – 200-1

In the short time after the death of her husband Mitch Hedberg, Lynn was such a favorite that many death pools were put on hiatus. But Lynn has rebounded and  shown amazing resiliency. She even works out. I’d stay far away from this pick.

Andy Andrist – 125-1

Andy is the king of drawing dead pool sucker money because many people only see one half of his double life. To see Andrist self-destructing on stage and after the show would make him an easy pick. What you don’t see is his home life of running marathons, gardening, taking care of his wonderful daughter and even attending church – if only to placate his wife.

But because of his stays on the bench between starting opportunities, he is open to falling due to rust. Too many days of PTA meetings can make the drunken climb up an electric tower easily fatal.

Brian Potrafka – 100-1

Brian’s recent appearance in the field makes him a big question mark. He seems too tired and terminally cash-strapped to ever die in a rock star fashion. But his hyper-awareness of the pointlessness of life could lead to any number of tragedies including suicide-by-cop if he could find a unique way of doing it. Keep an eye on this nag.

Troy Baxley – 5-1

Troy makes one reconsider the expression “functional” alcoholic. Although he maintains a career (and is a outstanding comic) you don’t quite know if that’s what you consider “functioning” so much as simply amazing to watch. This would be my dark horse pick.

Joey “Coco” Diaz – 9-5

Odds on favorite since Rouse had a kid. This man has it all. Overweight, drug abuser and little-to-no joy left in life. He could still read a menu and make it funnier than anything on the Tonight Show, that doesn’t mean he probably wouldn’t rather be sleeping. Joey is my lock of the pool.

Joe Rogan – 1000-1

Rogan will never die. Sure, there’s always the chance of a freak martial arts accident or angry audience shooter but I think he can even repel bullets with simple vitriol. Stay away from this bet.

Brett Erickson – 750-1

He coaches his kids soccer. He’s a great mind in comedy and even has his occasional or often scrapes with excess but the guy pours concrete for swimming pools when he’s not working and could out-do us all partying without so much as a hangover or a bad show the next night. The only reason he gets shorter odds than Rogan is that he’s broke and lives in Peoria so there is always the suicide risk.

Rick Shapiro – 10-1

This is one of the best comics I’ve run into in the last 7 years, since I’ve known (or claim to know) what a good comic consists of. He’s travelled as hard a road as any person, much less comic, has skated down. But the fact that he’s survived and is sober (if punch-drunk doesn’t count) makes me think he’s invincible. Yet his track record still keeps him with popular odds.

Henry Phillips – 40-1

Henry Phillips only remains in double-digit odds because of his legendary shitty luck. He’s a decent drunk and stays away from drugs but his dick has been stepped on so many times in ordinary life that he’s the kind of guy that will die in the most useless of ways.He’ll be electrocuted helping an elderly neighbor get an English muffin out of a toaster with a butter knife or step on an AIDS needle on his way to buy condoms. Whatever it is, he’ll be sure to die in a way that keeps us in stitches.

Louis CK – 1000-1

I have no reason to believe that Louis will die in any way other than as an old man who’s lived a full life, surrounded by family that cares. Yes, it’s a depressing thought but that’s what all the stats add up to. The worst part is that he will still be under-rated as to his place as one of the funniest people of our generation and most any other generation.

DrumWild  – 16-1

DrumWild has no business being in a death pool. He has no reason to die. He isn’t a comic, he does tech shit for MySpace, has a wonderful wife, is kind and caring but in no way that is demonstrative – which is why he has such competitive odds. These are the people that die out of the blue and you want to grieve but think “I didn’t really know that guy very well.” Then you feel like an asshole for not spending enough time getting to know people. I’d put him in any trifecta of early death.

Steve Hughes – 8-1

Steve Hughes is a UK comic and truly lives the rock n roll life. He could die at anytime with all the glorious fanfare of any Hendrix or Hedberg. I just don’t know if he’s motivated enough to do it. Either way, seek out and buy his CD. Ask him to sign it “8-1.”

Greg Chaille – Scratched

Chaille is my road manager. He’s not allowed to die until 7 years after I do. It’s in our contract.

Todd Barry – 150-1

Todd will die, don’t doubt it. But it will be from some kind of complication from Crohn’s disease or asbestos in his apartment. And it will be a long, whining death where he asks you to pick him up to-go food from his favorite restaurant and then make you feel like you should pick up the tab because he has this terrible affliction and it’s too painful for him to get out of bed and find his change purse. Then he will haunt his apartment and wake up the new tenants to try out new bits.

Make your picks in the comments – in the meantime I will decide who will take Ronnie P’s place after the obligatory “viewing” period.

My hero!

Posted in General on November 24, 2007 by Steve

Quagmire soundboard 1.

Quagmire soundboard 2.

Good site for wasting an afternoon when your team is getting pumped.

Useless fucking Aberdeen.