Legendary Deeds!

Regular readers (I never think that word should be plural) have been known to ask exactly what The Legend has done to deserve such a title. Indeed, The Legend has been decidedly unlegendary as of late but The Legend exceeded even The Legend‘s err.. legend last night.

I, in a moment of spasticity, tripped over the cable that links the phone line to the computer. Severed copper wires were visible and, to use the correct technical term, “fucked”. Anyway, I sent a text to The Legend, asking if The Legend could come round and have a look. I left the gym, only to find The Legend waiting outside (a brave move, given The Legend‘s allergic reaction to such places). The sports drink was pocketed, soon to be replaced with bourbon.

Anyway, The Legend managed to repair the severed cable with The Legend‘s bare hands and black tape. I am not easily impressed, but this was indeed impressive. Not as impressive as The Legend‘s amazing recovery from electrocution. The Legend, short of hands to do the job (a common occurrence for The Legend, natch), decided to place one end of the severed wire in The Legend‘s mouth. I started singing James Taylor’s “Handy-Man” to The Legend, in a touching (if sarcastic) tribute.

The Legend electrocted The Legend‘s own tongue! Ever seen Handy fucking Andy do that? Thought not…


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