Slightly better than last week!

After the biblical levels of drunkenness the previous Friday, last night had to be more civilised, and it was. An average covers band provided the soundtrack in the pub (an improvement on the week before) and the (ahem…) “highlight” was probably being chatted up by a woman in her fifties who said she watches me walk to work from behind her (and I quote) “twitching bedroom curtains“. Yikes! What is it about the Bridge Inn, rock music and me that makes old women wetter than an otter’s pocket?

The Legend and I were at the bar when the barmaid fell through the cellar hatch (landing on the other barmaid’s head) and, despite being 100 yards from the ambulance station, it took 10 minutes for the paramedics to arrive, and 10 minutes, 0.00001 seconds before some arseholes (not us) started moaning about not getting served. Dontcha just love human nature? The bar manager seemed fairly calm about it all, beyond his resentment that everyone had laughed when the same thing had previously happened to him.

Possibly the event with the most far-reaching consequences was on the way to the pub. Having grudgingly handed over my rent to The Legend, The Legend then made his way round to The Legend‘s local bank (who The Legend keeps moaning about, but not leaving, but that’s another matter). The deposit envelope was filled with (ahem!) “most” of the rent by The Legend, who then mightily struggled putting said envelope through the machine, which responded by patronisingly asking The Legend; “you seem to be having difficulty, would you like more time?

All hilarious, but not as impressive (and, frankly, scary) as The Legend‘s nimble finger-work to force the envelope in. Only after wedging the envelope fully in (and the shutter not, well… shutting) did The Legend realise that The Legend had wedged the envelope into the workings of the machine, not the deposit slot.

Yes readers, The Legend had forced it into the wrong hole.

The Legend had made such a fantastic job of said forcing, that it was impossible for the envelope to be removed, short of committing some sort of crime. In an event unheard of in cash machine history, The Legend and I decided to wave to the camera and show out faces, for the benefit of the CCTV investigation that would surely take place at opening time on Saturday when The Legend turned up (hungover) to beg for The Legend‘s money back. A good friend (and fellow CCTV star) would be by his side to provide testimony for his story, would he not?

Ah well…

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One Response to “Slightly better than last week!”

  1. Update – THE LEGEND was unable to beg for THE LEGEND’s money back on Saturday, due to the branch being closed. The circus continues unabated on Monday…

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